Aesthetic, tight abs, bulky tense biceps and rolling bulging shoulders use to be my ultimate goal in life for my body. If I pump more weights, if I run further everyday, if I do more crunches, take more protein shakes and bulking additives, if I dedicate my life to being in the gym then I'm healthy right, I'll attain this goal... And I did... But was I still happy? Yes, I was strong, yes, I felt the best I have ever felt (... Which looking back now isn't hard when you come from an unhealthy weight of 110kgs) and yes, I was getting attention from people I wouldn't usually get attention from, and wanted their attention... Yep, girls!
I was becoming more superficial the more I super-fied myself or my body. I become confident in my body, but I had no faith in myself. I still felt the same, I just had a different body and different attention on my body... From myself and others.
Then came "Try Yoga" ... Why the f$@# would I want to be flexible and do the splits when I've worked so hard to build this muscle... I want to do a strong yoga that tests my muscles and makes me hurt!
My Yoga tested my body and my strength, but also changed my mind about yoga and about myself.
I started dedicating my self to practice, which was slow and still poses, (really easy "stretch" poses I use to do without even thinking about the deeper benefits other than releasing tight muscles), but I noticed I wasn't frustrated or aggrivated by the slowing down or stillness... I craved it, without the addictive cravings that I was use to.
From someone who was tough and hard, had to go-go-go, always ready for the next thing and the next thing and the next thing, until I had conquered the world...(I even remember thinking I should climb Everest, ha ha), to unravelling all the tension, tight bulging muscles and flat abs... to become the ultimate strong = soft.
Soft by new definition, a strength only attainable by going against the grain, giving up and being as vulnerable in physical body as a chicken in a wolf den, but only by my own nature.
Yoga encouraged me to change my nature to be the natural soft self I am.
Mother Earth reminds me that the only thing hard in me is my bones ✌️💚🌈